It's been a while since I blogged anything here, and perhaps the reason why is worthy itself of an entry. Being honest: we've had a few rather bad experiences in or about Serbia over the past few months. Nothing that serious, but just enough to dampen my enthusiasm to the point where I haven't felt inspired to write anything for a while.
I remember in Bill Bryson's Notes from a Small Island (his tribute to life in Britain), he said that a smile from a pub owner, or a pleasant sunset in the English countryside would be enough to make him think that he should never leave the country. Something of the opposite has happened recently to me regarding Serbia. As I said, nothing that serious, but just an accumulation of things that have dampened my enthusiasm.
Its a funny ole relationship that one has with these countries sometimes. A real mix of hope and despondency. Meeting an enthusiastic young person in the workplace can make you believe that there is great hope, and some ape-like, un-intelligent staunch nationalist on the street can tear it away. Grace, charm and courtesy shown by some stranger in a restaurant is ruined by some pushy Balkan stereotype in a swimming pool threatening to punch a pregnant woman (I kid you not). A deep sense of family can make you think that other countries have a thing or two to learn from the ex-Yugoslavia, but then the ass-backwards logic that one has to adhere to in order participate makes you think that they actually have it wrong. Pleasant scenery in the countryside is offset by the mud and pollution of Novi Sad in February. Et cetera.
As ever, other countries are similar, and having been an ex-pat basically all my adult life, I know well that one often simultaneously loves and hates where one lives or visits. I guess its the extremes in Serbia or Croatia that are the difference. As much as I whinge about Germany or the Germans, I don't ever really feel afraid or worried like I can do in Serbia. English people can be rude, but never on a par with what can sometimes happen in Serbia. It's as if there's this precarious control mechanism that can both pleasantly surprise or deeply terrify without warning.
Anyway, it will blow hot again, and when it does, I'll be back at it.
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2 comments:
Hear hear. I'm Serbian and I know exactly what you're talking about. Still I think there's a silver lining there somewhere (or at least that's what I would like to believe). Those ape-like nationalists and fashistoids (is that even a word? lol) are getting angrier and angrier because they're losing their grip on Serbia. They're falling apart more and more every day, especially after the demise of the Seselj's Radicals. It looks bad now, but this is nothing compared to the 90's. They're in their death throes, which is good news. Bad news is that we're still long way away from being a normal country.
But then again, what's normal? To a foreigner, anything that's unknown and unfamiliar can seem frightening. Even here in the US where I live - in the South - nationalism is rampant. What scares me even more, though, is their RELIGION. This religion is like nothing I've ever seen before (and I thought the Orthodox church was bad, lol). It's basically a very aggressive, fundamentalist, intolerant form of an end-time cult that produces us-versus-them mentality, self-righteousness and hostility towards science, knowledge, rationality and anything that's different and foreign (like immigrants, minorities, "godless" Europeans, "godless" liberals, etc.) So, just when I thought nothing could make me feel good about Serbia, I moved to America. And I saw this and this.
But yeah, winters in Serbia can get gloomy, and if you don't enjoy playing in the city "snud" (snow+mud) like we did when we were kids (ew!) and if you don't like making snud cakes and such, well, it can get sad. But it's always sad wherever you are, if you feel like you don't belong. It can be the nicest place in the world, and it can still feel like it's not home. Oh well.
Thanks for your comment. It relieves me (always) to hear that I'm not alone.
One follow up: I agree completely about religion in the southern US. The orthodox church in Serbia also bothers me as it seems to have latched onto nationalists to some extent - new churchgoers in Serbia seem always more likely to be the staunch "Kosovo je Srbija!" variety. Perhaps prompting a comparison the southern US is just the thing that people in Serbia need to wake up (i.e. you don't want to be like these people, do you?). Ah, maybe not.
And just for the record: my mood on Serbia is lifting.
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